He's Just Not That Into You Disney Edition
by SkittlesKitty
Summary: A/UDisney-based friends and lovers, try to navigate their way through the complexities of modern relationships. Rapunzal wants commitment from Eugene, who sees nothing wrong with their lives. Melody is tired of waiting by the phone, while Elsa has trust issues with her husband, who can't trust himself around Auroa. Meanwhile Anna has many supportive males friends, none are straight
1. First Crushes

I own nothing. I do not own the plot, it based off of the movie and book by the same name. I also do not own the characters used for this story, they belong to their original creators and Disney. I have made my own little changes to the characters personalities as well as little things in the plot to flow with the characters better.

Chapter 1: First crushes

 _A girl will never forget the first boy she likes…._

It was a sunny summer afternoon where the children were playing in the local park. The only source of shade coming from the trees hanging over certain parts of the area. The shadiest places were the jungle gym for the children and a couple benches for their parents. There were many children running around the play structure varying from ages 2 – 10. Some were trying to touch the sky using the swings; others were sliding down the various slides trying to fly like birds. In the sandbox next to the slide, an adorable five year old girl with long wavy black hair parted into two pigtails plays among a group of children.

 _I have a theory about how this all started…._

A six year old boy approaches the sandbox with three of his friends following closely behind. He watches the little girl with black pigtails for a moment as she gently shapes her sandcastle. And then – out of nowhere – the little boy pushes the little girl down to the ground.

"Why did you do that?" the little girl with black pigtails asked from the ground.

"Because you smell like dog poo." The little boy said

The little boys friends and some of the other children snicker at this brilliant one-liner. The little girl with black pigtails' face turned red at his remark.

"You're so stupid just like dog poo! You're made of poo!" the little boy continued.

And then, just to add insult to injury, he jumps on the sandcastle, smashing it to ruins. The other children laughed at the little boy's antics. The little girl with pigtails' lip began to tremble as she tried not to let what the boy said get to her. After a minute, the little girl finally started to cry. She got up and pushed her way past the children around her to reach her mother whom sat on a park bench, not far from her, reading a book. The mother frowned when she heard her daughter cry, she looked up just as the little girl opened her arms for a hug. The mother put her book down quickly then opened her arms in time to hug her daughter as she wrapped her small arms around her mother's waist. The mother hummed as she picked up her daughter to place her in her own lap as she stroked the top of her daughters black hair.

The mother waited patiently for her daughter to calm down. She rocked them back and forth on the bench. The little girl tried thinking about other things to make herself stop crying, but to no avail. The little girl focused on her breathing instead of her thoughts, she inhaled the familiar smell of the ocean coming from her mother. The little girl could smell it the most in her mother's long red hair, as if she lived there for years; her hair soaking in everything the little girl loved and found comforting. After a few minutes the mother pulled away from her daughter with a gentle smile on her face.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" she asked as she wiped stray tears from her daughters' cheek. After some time the little girl managed to tell her mother about the incident with the little boy.

"Made … of … dog … poo." She said between sobs.

"Honey, do you know why that little boy did those things? And said those things?"

The little girl shook her head no as she stared at her mother with fascination and a little anxiety as she waited for this secret to be revealed.

"Because he likes you." The mother said as she taps her daughter on the nose and smiled at her.

 _Uh – excuse me – but what the fuck? Where did that rumor start? Because mom's have been spreading it for years._

"That little boy is doing those terrible things because he has a crush on you." The mother continues as she took out her daughters pigtails and combed her hair with her fingers while humming their song.

As her mother finished combing through her hair and putting her hair back in their pigtails, the little girl pondered her mother's words. When her mother was through she kissed the top of her daughters head and helped her daughter down. The little girl walked back to the playground lost in thought. She felt as if a veil had been lifted from her eyes and she could see clearly. For the first time in her short life, she felt like she was beginning to understand the ways of the world.

 _Do you understand what this means? We are all encouraged to believe that if a guy acts like a total ass wipe – that means he likes you. Sure, that's a lesson that might serve us as five year olds, but many of us believe this advice well into adulthood._

 **INTO DORM ROOM**

There was a cute college girl in a purple mini dress with gold accessories – gold hoop earrings, a gold arm cuff was on her right arm and a bracelet on her left wrist. She also had gold heals that were long forgotten by the front door. Her smoky eye makeup was purple to match her dress while her lips were just decorated by clear lip gloss. Her face was red and her eyes puffy as her tears and mascara mixed together down her cheeks as she continued to cry in front of her answering machine, as her roommate looked on.

 _Then, as we get older, we carry on this tradition of misreading the signals men send by encouraging our friends to do the same…_

The college girl opened her eyes to look at her answering machine. The machine evilly flashes 0 in the new messages window.

"That Phi Delta so obviously liked you. I'm sure he just lost your number." Her roommate tells her as she goes to comfort her friend again.

 **INTO HIGH RISE OFFICE - DAY**

In an office hallway made of glass stood a beautiful – and distracted – executive woman. She had on a blue high-waist skirt that ended an inch above her knees with a plain white blouse tucked into it and a black belt that matched her black pumps. Her long brown hair was pulled into a neat high ponytail and she had on very little makeup. She sighed distracted as she watched her sexy male colleague pace around his office while talking on his Bluetooth headpiece. The executive woman soaked in his appearance for the day. His long dirty blond hair was pulled into a low ponytail; his beautiful blue eyes were focused as his strong jaw worked to make the person on the other line agree with him and take his proposition. She gazed at his muscles through his white dress shirt – his suit coat long forgotten on his chair. He didn't even give her a second glance.

The executive woman's secretary watched her as she shook her head at her boss. She quickly brushed her blond bangs out of her eyes before standing up and fixing her green dress and white blazer. Then she made her way - as quietly as she could in her gold coloured heals – over to her boss.

"He's not asking you out because he's intimidated by your professional success and emotional maturity." The secretary whispers as she joins her boss in watching their sexy colleague. The executive woman nods her head slowly in agreement but stops abruptly and turned to face her secretary.

"Aren't you engaged? Stop staring at him." The executive woman said as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared accusingly at the secretary. The secretary waved her hand in her bosses face in hopes of distracting her enough into silence.

"Yes, I am. What's your point? It's not like I'm undressing and fooling around with him. I'm just enjoying the view…" the secretary trailed off as she leaned her head to the right, following her colleagues fit ass as he bent over to pick something up. Her boss sighed as she mimicked her secretary without noticing.

 **INTO BAR – NIGHT**

Over at the bar of a crowded and dark pub sat a group of young women in their twenties sipping cocktails. In the corner sat one of the young women with short black hair and very fair skin. Her red lips matched her mini dress that she wore with her blue jean vest and black booties. Her mascara was smeared and her eyes were puffy from crying.

"Here's the problem, he likes you _too_ much. You're too pretty and awesome. He can't handle it." Said the friend of the young woman crying. The crying woman looked at her blond friend in a blue strapless dress with a thick strip of yellow wrapping around her torso diagonally. The blond friend offered her crying friend one of the shot glasses she was holding. The crying woman with short black hair stared at the shot glass for a second before grabbing it from her friend and quickly threw it back before slamming the glass on the counter. The blond friend quickly offered her friend the second shot glass, which she took with a grin on her face. As the young woman with short black hair finished her second shot, her blond friend leaned over the counter to speak to the bartender that had just came to their end of the bar.

"Could I have another round, actually make it two." She ordered as she watched her friend take out her phone again and begin to pout.

 **INTO MCDONALD'S – DAY**

Two teenaged female cashiers worked side by side as they each took their respected customers orders.

"Trust me. It's because he's just getting out of a serious relationship." The one cashier with long blond hair pulled into a ponytail and tucked under her black work hat, said as she finished with her customer. Her smiling cat tattoo peaked out as she accepted the change from her customer.

 **INTO GYM – DAY**

Two middle aged women work out on elliptical machines. One of the women was tall and thin with black hair pulled into a tight bun. She wore black yoga pants with a dark purple tank top. The other woman was shorter than her friend by at least a foot, and was curvy. Her short black hair was starting to grey and was pulled into a short ponytail. She wore black shorts and a matching t-shirt.

"Trust me. It's because he's never had a serious relationship. That poor unfortunate soul will be crushed if things don't go well. You're magnificent and Stefan knows it." Said the short friend confidently.

 **INTO MASSAGE ROOM – DAY**

A Japanese woman was elbowing the back of her usual weekly client as she listened to her boy problems. It was almost better than her soap operas she watches after her day is over.

"Phil's inability to commit clearly stems from his failure to properly imprint on his mother during breast feeding." The masseuse said confidently as she worked out the knot in her clients shoulder blades from her built up tension.

 **INTO SMALL VILLAGE HUT – DAY**

A pretty young woman with tribal tattoos along her arms and bangles on her wrists weaves banana leaves together while she sits on the ground with her friend.

"I'm sure he forgot your hut number. Or didn't get enough approval from his father. Or was eaten by a giraffe." This last part seemed to cheer up the pretty woman with tattoos.

 _Why do we say this stuff to each other? Why do we tell each other these lies? Is it possible that it's because we're too scared, and it's too hard, to say the one obvious truth that's staring everyone in the face?_

 _ **He's just not that into you….**_

A.N: Hey everyone I hope you enjoyed this short chapter! This is the first thing I'm posting to the site and cannot wait to continue with this story. I love the movie and always wanted to see how some of my favourite Disney characters worked in this world. Can you guess which Disney characters I used so far in this chapter? Send me a message and I'll let you know who was right in the next chapter. If I got even one response back, I would be honored. Cheers until next time!


	2. First Date

I own nothing. I do not own the plot, it based off of the movie and book by the same name. I also do not own the characters used for this story, they belong to their original creators and Disney. I have made my own little changes to the characters personalities as well as little things in the plot to flow with the characters better.

Chapter 2: First Date

Melody Zale, pretty and approachable in her dark skinny jeans with a maroon coloured turtleneck sweater that had the shoulders missing; on her feet she wore her light brown healed ankle booties. Her makeup was simple with mascara and eyeliner the only things on her blue eyes, and – one of the many – wine coloured liquid lipstick on her full lips. Her long wavy raven hair was pulled into a high ponytail with her bangs framing her face. Melody sat in a booth at a hip restobar called Mt. Olympus with Kristoff Glacier, cute but holding onto his frat boy roots with blue jeans, sneakers and his blue buttoned up shirt that had the top two buttons undone revealing the top of his black t-shirt that was hidden underneath. His shaggy blond hair was tousled just the right amount to be cute but not sloppy in Melody's opinion. They sipped their near empty cocktails.

"So, Elsa told me you're a real estate agent." Melody says after a pause.

"Yeah, but don't worry – not one of the cheesy ones who puts his headshots on bus benches and grocery carts."

"So just like on Frisbees and notepads?"

Kristoff laughs at her little jab while Melody smiles

 _I'm doing well_. She thought excitedly.

"You got it." Kristoff says as he smiles back. "Much cheesier,"

"My thoughts exactly," Melody sips her drink and looks at Kristoff.

"I wonder why Elsa never thought of introducing us before?" she asks casually.

"Yeah, I don't know, I ummm – "

Their waitress appeared with a bright smile, cutting him off. "You guys ready for another round?" Kristoff looked back to Melody.

"You want one more?" he asks her.

"Only if you do, but I mean, if you have to get going I totally…." Melody trails off with a light blush coating her cheeks.

Kristoff considers this for a long moment. Melody nervously bites at her lower lip. She knows the outcome of this date hangs in the balance. It feels like an eternity, to her, before Kristoff finally responds.

"Umm, okay. Sure. One more,"

Kagome breathed a sigh of relief.

"You had vodka and cranberry, right?" Kristoff continued. Melody nodded her head and smiled, clearly flattered that Kristoff remembered her order. She scoots a little closer to him.

Once their last round of drinks came around they laughed and talked about work and shared some childhood stories. The date ended to Melody's disappointment, Kristoff paid for their drinks before they gathered their respective things and left the restaurant. Melody pulled her jacket closer to herself at the chilly night air. Kristoff smiled at Melody as he opened his arms to hug her outside of the restaurant. Melody happily returned his hug, despite the twinge of sadness she felt when it ended.

"Well Kristoff. I had a really nice time."

"Yeah, it was really nice meeting you."

"B-bye," Melody waved flirtatiously and walked away smiling. She turned around to look, and saw Kristoff take his cell phone out of his pocket. Melody excitedly took her own cell phone from her purse and dials a familiar number.

"Hey, it's me. He's cute. I think it went well." She sneaks another look over her shoulder to see Kristoff.

"And I think he might be leaving me a message at home as-we-speak." She says as she turned left at the corner with a wide grin.

Kristoff looked over his shoulder as Melody turned the corner while he continues to listen to the phone ring. "Hey, it's me… I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you."

Across town inside of a small grocery store was Auroa Philip. Auroa, hot in an earthy sort of way, heads down the aisle looking for a snack in her black yoga pants and matching lulu lemon zip up hoodie. Her long golden hair was in a messy braid hanging over her right shoulder as she holds her cell phone in one hand and reached for a bag of soy nuts with the other while holding a bottle of water with the same hand.

"Kristoff, that's so nice. Thank you."

Auroa walked down the aisle shortly before getting to the checkout, there's one person ahead of her. The person looked back to see her – he was good looking with his short auburn hair pushed out of his eyes, his green eyes clashed against his fair skin. The sleeves of his dress shirt had been rolled up and his tie loosened around his neck indicating that his long day at work has finally come to an end.

 _Very good looking._ She thinks as Kristoff continues to talk about his day on the other line.

Hans Anderson catches the young woman check him out and they share a smile as he notices the slight blush reach her cheeks. "Do you want to go ahead?"

"Hmm?" _Very articulate Auroa_ …

"Go ahead? You've only got two things."

"Hold on." Auroa says into the phone.

She looks at what he's got – a six pack of Butterbeer. "You've only got one thing."

"Well, technically it's six. And I'm still mulling over a gum purchase. So…" He stepped aside to let her go. She smiles at him.

"Hey, let me call you right back." The young woman hangs up the phone and moves past Hans, hands her things to the emotionless cashier. As she walked by, Hans couldn't stop himself from drifting his gaze to her ass – which was hugged wonderfully by her yoga pants. _God bless yoga pants_ he thought to himself.

As the cashier rings up her items – Auroa looks back at Hans – they share another smile. She hands the cashier her ATM card and she swipes it.

"Oh my word," the cashier says lazily.

"Come on. Seriously, I just deposited money today. There's no way – "

"It's not that. Let me check something." She turns around and rifles through a stock of papers, finally finding what she was looking for. "Congratulations, you won."

"What?" Auroa asked confused.

"Our sizzlin' summer promotion, you're our 1000th customer in June." The cashier reaches under the register and pulls out an igloo cooler and hands it to Auroa with her purchased items in a separate bag. Auroa beams.

"Are you kidding?"

"Do I look like I'm messing with you?" the cashier asked deadpanned. Her reaction did not phase Auroa as she looks over at Hans excitedly; she was so excited she might've burst from joy.

"I swear to god, this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me."

Hans could not tell if she was kidding. "Really?"

"Is that sad?" Auroa asked him directly although she could see the cashier begin to nod her head to her question from the corner of her eye.

"No, it's – charming. Congratulations."

Auroa smiles wide as she admires her new cooler, as she steps aside for the man behind her. Her smile quickly turns to a pout as she faces Hans while he pays for his items. "Wait, no. I can't accept this. You were here first. I didn't win at all."

"Yes, you did. Trust me – its fate. You were meant to have that cooler." Hans reassures her as he takes the bag with his purchased items from the indifferent cashier.

Auroa throws her arms around him and hugs him as she bounces a bit. "Thank you so much!" she says giddly. Hans can't help but laugh as he returns the hug. The cashier rolled her eyes as she took out her phone to text her friend about her weird customers.

 **20 MINUTES AWAY ACROSS TOWN**

Kristoff entered his loft apartment and put his keys in the dish he had by his front door. As he takes off his shoes he can hear that his living room television was on. He already knew who it was before he heard his friend call out.

"Hey. How was the date?"

"Fine you know." Kristoff replies as he passed by the couch and saw his childhood friend Jim Hawkins sitting on his couch watching some baseball highlights. Before he reaches the kitchen he pauses and turns to Jim.

"Why are you here?"

"My cables out," Jim replies without taking his eyes off the highlights.

Kristoff returns from the kitchen with a beer and stands beside the couch that Jim was sitting on.

"You didn't hear my phone ring, did you?"

"Nope," Jim replied.

"Shit. Auroa gave me the 'I'll call you right back'."

"How long ago?"

"22 minutes." Kristoff said as he checked his phone time for confirmation. Jim winced as Kristoff took a sip of his beer.

"Sorry dude." Jim says.

"Do I call back?" Jim shrugs as Kristoff drinks half the bottle before responding. "I know. I'll call back and say that I'm going to bed."

"At 9:30pm? Genius." Jim said sarcastically as he takes a drink of his own beer.

"It is genius because then I can say: 'In case you were going to call me back – don't – cause I'll be sleeping'."

"And then in the morning you can call and say: 'Okay I'm awake so you can call me back now'. Sounds foolproof," Jim suggests while rolling his eyes.

"It is, you'll see." Kristoff says as he pulls off his jacket and tosses it next to a box – which contains about 50 frisbess. On each Frisbee a large picture of Kristoff, with his office number and the title: Kristoff Glacier REAL ESTATE AGENT. Kristoff dials the number he knows from memory into his cell phone as he heads back to his room. Jim shakes his head as he gets up from his comfy spot on his buddy's couch. He walked over to the fridge to grab another beer as he thought about his unlucky friend. _He's so hung up on someone that's not interested but I don't have the heart to tell him._ Jim thinks to himself before he takes a long sip of his beer then sits back down on the couch to watch the rest of the highlights.

 **IN THE PARKING LOT OF RAY'S GROCERY STORE**

Auroa pulled out her phone and reads "Kristoff's calling" on her screen, she quickly pressed ignore and stashed it back in her purse before flashing an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, what was I saying?"

"I think you were telling me how you don't want to be like your mom and wake up and realize you didn't pursue your dreams." Hans explains with a playful smile that made Auroa's heart skip a beat. He opened his pack of gum and offered Auroa a piece. She took one and laughed, a bit embarrassed while her cheeks became dusted in a blush.

"Was I? A little intense for grocery store chatter, sorry,"

"It's okay. I might even be able to help you out. There's a guy at my firm who has exclusively music clients."

"That would be – amazing. What are you – like my prince charming?" Auroa digs through her purse to find a piece of paper. _This is amazing, he's a dream come true!_ She thought as she writes down her number, and holds it out for him. Hans looked at it with a sheepish look, contemplating his next words.

"Okay, look, I'm married. I don't do this." He admits as he runs his hand through his bangs as his guilt became more evident on his face.

"Don't do what? Help struggling singers?" Auroa asked innocently

"Help hot-pilates-instructing-singers who happen to be very charming." Hans says with a playful smirk.

Auroa gives him an embarrassed smile as she withdraws her out stretched hand to put the piece of paper back in her purse. She couldn't stop herself from also feeling flattered by his words as well. _He thinks I'm hot, stop it. He's a married man!_ Auroa thinks to herself as her cheeks darken a deep red colour. Then an idea popped to her head.

"Do you want to give me your card? That's legit. I bet you're allowed to do that."

Hans considered this as he crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't known this Auroa woman for long but he already wanted to find a way to see her again. Hans admires her 'lazy day' outfit as it shows off the curves she has but still leaving some thoughts for his imagination. Hans looked into her beautiful blue eyes. _I could stare into them for the rest of my life…_

"Right, okay. I guess that would be okay." Hans reaches into his back pocket for his wallet to retrieve his business card for her. As he hands it to Auroa she flashes him a bright smile that takes his breath away for a moment. She puts the card in her purse before she thanks him. The two share a look before they say goodbye. They shake hands awkwardly as Auroa adjusts her purse strap. She turns away from her new friend and starts walking the short distance back to her apartment. Hans briefly watched her walk away enjoying the view of her retreating form. Hans walked over to a car that was off to his left, shopping bag in hand with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He entered the passenger side and could feel friends' eyes on him without even looking to the driver's side.

"So, who was that?"

"A prospective client,"

"Yeah right," His friend says with a smirk, Hans could tell how much his friend was enjoying the moment. He was still refusing to look his way.

"I can talk to a woman Eugene. It doesn't have to be like _that_."

Eugene looked over at his old college roommate as his smirk transformed to an amused smile as he shook his head.

"Just drive damnit." Hans rolled his eyes as his friend starts the car and they pull away from the store.

Eugene drove Hans home before heading to his Westside loft. Eugene Ryder's loft was filled with modern art paintings and furniture with grey, black and indigo as the colour theme throughout. It was a cozy yet architectural look – a cool place to live.

"Hey babe, are you here?" Eugene called into the loft as he puts his coat away in the closet by their front door. He walked further into the living room area until he spotted his lovely girlfriend.

On the couch sat his girlfriend of seven years, Rapunzal Soleil. She sat on their grey couch wrapped in a throw blanket, seemingly watching tv. Rapunzal had already showered and changed since arriving home a little over an hour ago. Her face was clear of makeup and her hip length wavy blond hair was in a messy bun on top of her head. Under the throw blanket she had on a pair of shorts and one of Eugene's old college sweaters.

"Hey honey,"

Eugene walked towards the kitchen but stopped at the couch and gives her a kiss on the head before he continued his journey. He opened the fridge door and took out a bottle of water. _Why is it so quiet?_ Eugene thought as he closed the fridge door and noticed he couldn't hear the tv. He looked over Rapunzal's shoulder and finally realized the tv wasn't even on.

"Is everything okay?" He asked as he opened his drink.

"Yeah, just got off the phone,"

"You want some tea or something?"

"It was my baby brother. He's getting married."

"That's great. I've always liked that Wendy girl. That's really great."

Rapunzal turned around and looked at him, she didn't look that happy. "Do you think it's great?" she asked skeptically.

 _Is this a trick question?_ "Yeah," Eugene replies as he started to chug his bottle of water.

"So, you think it's great that they're getting married, but you never feel like we're going against nature or something by not getting married?"

"No babe," he said as he joined Rapunzal on the couch and puts his arms around her. "Going against nature is like that cat who started nursing that monkey. We're just two people who aren't married."

Rapunzal manages a weak smile, "Right."

"I actually think the odds of having a successful relationship increase by not getting married. Looks at my parents – all marriage got them was thirty two years of misery and joint checking."

"Yeah, I know. I get that."

"Like I've always told you – I love you – and we don't need a marriage certificate to legitimize our relationship."

"Yeah,"

"Lemme get you some tea." Eugene said with a gentle smile as he squeezed her shoulders affectionately before heading back to the kitchen.

Once Eugene is away from her, Rapunzal starts to cry quietly, but quickly dried her tears and forced herself to pull it together. A few minutes later, Eugene returns with her tea and the couple snuggle up on the couch and watch tv for an hour before heading to bed together.

A/N: And that's chapter two! I know I said I'd post who were the characters I used in the previous chapter but I ended up finishing this chapter sooner than I thought. Send in who you think I used in the first chapter! This chapter revealed most of the main characters in this story but the next one will introduce some new ones as well as get more familiar with a few you met in this one. Cheer, until next time!


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